Anniversary

Well, I'm coming up on my one year anniversary of blogging.

I'd have to say I'm hooked, but also rather disapointed. My initial reason for beginning this blog was to work on my writing and show my art work, being crippled with shyness around my work I figured I would try cyberspace and get feedback from loved ones, and anonymous visitors before venturing into the wider, wilder world of real. Blogging has been indespensible in these aspects.

Over time I realized I had been hoarding my talent, completing paintings and hiding them in the back of my closet, writing short stories, poetry or journals and then torching or shredding them. I spent a lifetime creating and destroying. I spent a lifetime hiding. I wanted that part of my life to come to an end. The hiding and destroying I mean.

I felt a need to share my work with family and friends and so excitedly invited them to come by.

The sharing part hasn't really panned out as I'd hoped. Turns out my mother, some kind of witch, can't seem to spend much time around anything electronic without sending it into some kind of tizzy. Seeing as electronic tolerance is imperative to the operation of computers, mom doesn't get by much.

For example, after my father died everything in her house went bonkers the TV, the radio, CD player, her phone, everything just began to short out, stop working. Explode. Her computer also died, and died again, and yet again. It doesn't matter that she spends money getting it fixed, new parts, new software etc., the electrical storms in her mercurial head seem to disrupt nearly anything with a circuit board.

The woman is a menace to all things electronic. It might be due to the fact she was hit by lightning once, but I think its also likely due to the fact that she's a witch.

Move on to Granny, she finally got a computer (Up till then, I'd compose and send her emails for her.) Unfortunately, she died before we could interact online.

My aunt lurks here sometimes, I know she visits. But she never says anything, posts anything or makes any comments. Hell she doesn't email, or call me either. But that I'm pretty sure, is my own doing. Well Auntsi, if you've got nothing nice to say...

Pickle has left me two messages in 11 months, and that's the most activity this blog's seen. How sad. It's like throwing a party, and no one shows up. There are all sorts of boards, lists, link exchanges and other techniques to increase traffic to a blog, but I'm not all that interested in wooing strangers, what I wanted to do was add a new dimension to my long distance relationships. While it didn't work out as I had hoped, I discovered the process of blogging is in itself something worthwhile. It helps me get things out, organize my thoughts, and artwork. I think it's even making me a better writer.

Its a great way to store information and links to external sources of information. I've got this little tool called "Blog This", it makes things really easy all I have to do when I find a site I want to read, save for research, reference purposes or share with one of my invisible visitors, I just hit a button and Voila! There's a new link on my site.

The ability and ease of gathering and organizing information is one of the biggest reasons I continue to blog past the borders of my first intentions.

So this entry is about celebrating a constant year of writing (nearly everyday) but equally important, its about letting go of my expectations of others, and realising new expectations of myself.