Hopes, Wishes and Plans

June's Horoscope:

Cocobannan, you can at last express the secrets which have been troubling you. You may be seething with anger inside, and afraid to let it show for fear it may explode on contact. Or you may be steaming with a concealed passion for some lucky man. The head will rule the heart, and your mind will be unclouded by any haze of emotion. Perhaps you should take advantage of it.

July 8^th 2005

I know what I want to do with Wrapped in Thin Brown Skin.

I want to publish it and donate the proceeds to women and children societies to pay for counseling of survivors.

I believe that victims of trauma, war, abuse, rape and torture should be taken care of, at no cost to the victim.

I also believe that due to the state of the world today, Our population will be quickly consumed by the effects and horrors of mental disorders such as PTSD, and other disorders created by trauma if we don’t begin to address the situation now.

Here is a snapshot of the state of trauma in the world.

• There are millions of slaves living working and dying in homes near you
• There are more slaves in the world today, then ever before in our history, in fact trafficking of slaves constitutes the third largest illegal economy of the United States behind that of drugs and guns.
• One in two women in my province will be raped before she turns eighteen
• There are more wars waging on the face of the planet than ever before
• Environmental upheavals are occurring more and more frequently, Last Christmas’ Tsunami is such an example.

My strategy is to shop my idea around to local organizations such as WAVAW, I need help. Editing, creative direction, collaboration with health care providers, a publisher. Not to mention therapy for myself.

Through my experiment in creative healing, I have discovered that the act of creating art can have liberating moments, athletes and musicians call it FLOW. When this occurs, images, words, concepts locked deep in the subconscious can find escape into the light of day. The end product, a lyric, a poem, a painting, whatever can then be examined like one might examine their dreams.

I have reclaimed so much from my past through my art that I’ve begun to see my own patterns of delusion, and destruction, my strengths and gifts in addition to the heritage passed to me of the same. I’ve begun to understand why I was so vulnerable to being victimization, how my early life set me up to confuse my inner wisdom, causing unbearable mental anguish, wrong thinking, fear and despair. I’ve also begun to understand how it is that I survived, when so many of my contemporaries have perished.

Unraveling the web of family dysfunction, I have discovered strength at the core of it all, like a shining ball of light tightly wrapped by cobwebs of illusion, distorting memory and logic. I discovered the psyche is the most powerful force of creation and how trauma can distort that power turning a person away from the acts and thoughts of creation to those of destruction. I realized, the outer effects of thought and action based on a shaky foundation of fear and shame can never bring peace, but only throw dark shadows. These cobwebs must be removed to allow the creative power and beauty of the individual shine through, becoming a visible light for others, and themselves.

I would like to see a National foundation created to care for the therapeutic costs of survivors of violence and trauma. I would also like to see some kind of restitution costs recouped from perpetrators of violence. I can see this easily manifesting by diverting a portion of the wages earned by inmates convicted of violent offenses. I would also like to see these two models extended around the world globally, I believe it is well needed.