For some time now, I've been aware that I am the one true architect of my life and that my life, as it currently stands was built brick by brick by my own self, and not by forces beyond my control.
I mean yes, forces beyond my control do exist, and yes they have impact on my life at times but they do not control the way my life unfolds. Only I do.
I know it sounds fantastical, but suspect it is very true.
The echo's I have been catching from the past in the here and now include the similarities between my own NDE with my mother, and her newest "baby's" NDE with her.
Mom reacted nearly the same way now as when it had been me. I reacted nearly the same way as well, including exiting my body. The Puppy reacted the same way I had, right down to developing seizures, and an iron will.
There've been other experiences too, some much more subtle like the family story I recounted earlier. The one thing they all have in common is opportunity. These are opportunities presented as a time line option so to speak. It's like my life is offering me another chance to integrate these traumatic experiences into my conscious life, to get over them, to get up, to go on.
I've written here somewhere about my suspicion that the journey of life is like an ever unfolding"injury rehearsal" offering countless opportunities for personal healing. These recent "syncronisities" between time and event simply go to further illustrate this possibility to me.
My recent reading has included the Essential Kabbala, the heart of Jewish mysticism by Daniel C. Matt, so far the best resource I have found on beginner level Kabbala.
I am quickly falling in love with Jewish Mysticism, it is infused with the poetry of "new, ancient words", is at times erotic, and walks the line between sublime and heretical.
For an example of such thought, Beauty and erotisism I'd suggest the biblical texts attributed to Solomon. The Song of Songs is the most exquisite love poem I have yet encountered.
I find answers to questions I have long pondered and found nothing in the way of answers except for what my own imagination brought forth. These questions and answers are in some ways reflected in the Kabbala teachings that I have so far encountered.
For instance my idea of life as an ever unfolding injury rehearsal, particular to the peculiarities of the life experiencer, is reflected in a much larger and grand way in the Kabbala.
"The rabbinic concept of the Shekinah, divine immanence, blossoms into the feminin half of God, balancing the patriarchal conception that dominates the bible and the Talmud. Kabbala retains the traditional discipline of the Torah and Mitsvot (commandments), but now the mitsvot is the mending of all the worlds and drawing forth the emanation from above." Introduction: A glimpse of the orchard. from Essential Kabbala, the heart of Jewish mysticism by Daniel C. Matt,
Where I've begun to recognise every one of my own actions, and non actions, have shaped my personal reality. My good actions working towards health or "mending" of self, my negative ones accomplishing the opposite, the kabbalist teaches that each of our individual drama's of living work in the same way towards mending the universe, the world, God, and ourselves.
According to Kabbala, every human action here on Earth affects the divine realm, either promoting or hindering the union of Shekinah and her partner-The Holy One, blessed be he. God is not static being, but dynamic becoming. Withouthuman participation, God remains incomplete, unrealized. .. God needs us. Introduction: A glimpse of the orchard. from Essential Kabbala, the heart of Jewish mysticism by Daniel C. Matt,
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