jungle b*nny

jungle b*nny, acrylic and canvas, 12"x 10"
I
was painting all day, began to lose the light by the time I was taking my digital pictures, so bear in mind this one looks a heluva lot better in better light! Oh well.

I felt I had to post a little something about this piece, as G. had a rather strong gut reaction to it, I figure others may as well.I've been working on an experiment in healing. I call it healing through creativity.
I've been mainly writing, painting and pixel painting.

I'm still working through the first set of so-called excersises I set out for myself, part of which was to delve into my first chakra issues, take a poke around, see what I can see, learn what I can learn, and release what I gotta release. Without getting all into it right now, one of the things I recognised was the fact I'd harboured a great deal of anger and resentment towards the labels I felt forced to bear for the sake of societies "sensibilities", or likely cultural delusions.

I wrote up a gut wrenching list of adjectives I had learned to internalize and apply to myself. Adjectives that had - at various points throughout my life, been thrown my way. I discovered that my anal retentive flourish wanted to hang on to the insult and injury far longer than need be.

I had to remind myself, just cuz a million people say it, doesn't mean its true!

I began seeing an image develop. It was my own, deeply tanned and smiling face throwing back my main of kinky hair, wearing a pair of "bunny ears".
So-that's what I painted.

My G. felt the painting itself was well done, he expressed the wish it wasn't so play mate bunny like.
I was thrilled! Not that he would prefer a less eroticised image to flow from my brush, but that unintentionally I had also captured the unspoken "role" I had always felt was being thrust on me, as often by my own self in the desire for attention and acceptance, as by outside observors.

I have never had this conversation with another woman of caribean descent, and would really like to one day. I have sat in on conversations between asian women discussing their feelings about the sexual stereotype thrust upon them. You know, the willowy lithe sex kitten/slave, wise and trained in ancient secrets of sexual titilation for the males of the species.
I don't know what slang term would be applied to women such as myself, but I think Jungle B*nny would suffice.

I never had a way to express this sense, this feeling I had of being catalogued. It wasn't until I hit my 20's and found a compelling book by Anne Rice, that I was finally able to pump my fist in the air, and point emphatically at the book, for a while all I could do was gurgle incoherantly in my excitement, finally I was able to say "This, This is how I FEEL!" it only took an entire NOVEL to put it into words for me!
( Feast of All Saints? Ithink it was that one? NTS (note to self) google this. )
Any way, she paints a perfect picture of what it is I am talking about.

It was important to me that the figure is smiling, and carefree, its my way of reclaiming the term and the symbol of the jungle b*nny, I am laughing at the nasty history of the words, and looking forward to new interpretations.

coo coo coo choo