A snippet of my daily life:

He says:
"So she woke up at three o'clock in the morning with a snake thing beside her bed."

She says:
"A snake?!" Thinking oh my gawd a snake is loose in the building!

"Well yeah a snake or a big centiped like thing."

"Well which was it?" Panic rising.

"I don't know! Geeze. (leave me alone and let me tell the story)

She wants me to go and look into it."

"Well what are you looking for an insect or a reptile?"

"I said I don't know, Geez!" (You are so annoying)

"So anyway"...

And the rest of his words are burned away by my ire.

Turns out the offensive creature was a fat worm.

Aweek or so ago, we had a tenant abandon his salt water fish tank and his beautiful black cat. He was trying to tell me what was in the tank. Live coral, some cool things and a snake.

"What a snake?" The color drains from my face

"Yeah, a snake."

So he takes it out and puts it on the table and everything for me (describing the tenant's last minute instructions for the care of his pets)

"A snake?"

"Yes a snake, gawd!" (shakes head, his wife is so stupid!)

I'm having trouble concentrating on his words at this point. I'm having visions of a python sliding between apartments through the walls.

"It's so cool!"

Turns out, it was an eel.