The room of forgotten responsibilities

I came across a whack of quotes recently while surfing the blogosphere.

This is the first and foremost message that spoke to me:

"Focus,

not on the rudenesses of others,

not on what they've done

or left undone,

but on what you

have & haven't done

yourself."

-The Buddha, Dhammapada, 4, translation by Thanissaro Bhikkhu.


I recently had a dream, about a week ago. It's taken me a while to digest it and think on it before posting it here.

I dreamt I was in a building (not so unusual). As I wandered around and through this building, I came across a room. A room I recognized because of it's contents. They were all the things I had left unfinished in life. The diploma's I never got, the babies I never had, the animals I couldn't keep, more promises of the same.

As I walked around and touched the things I had forgotten, smelled the fragrances of roses I forgot to send, or momento's I had neglected to give, or bills I had yet to pay I felt sadness at all the unfinished successes in my room of forgotten responsibilities.

I realized that while the one person I truly failed and diminished by shirking my duties, was me, myself. I also saw how by diminishing my own life through neglect, of self and others diminished all those I loved, who loved me, or who relied or depended on me. If I had gotten that degree in design, how much more resources would I have to share with my loved ones now?

I finally came across a dog. My dog, the one who always "dogs" me in my dreams. We're old friends now. I've known for some time this dog, represents me, the unconscious part of me. A lost shard.

An emotion of great love and sadness always accompanies my communing with this dog. That's what it's like, mind to mind heart to heart communication. I usually feel completely responsible and neglectful of this guy when he appears. Often, so often that I am currently spooked, this little guy shows up right before a personal revelation occurs.

Then I woke up.